NAVIGATING THROUGH PREGNANCY AND GIVING BIRTH
Updated: Mar 4, 2022
My dear daughter,
The journey you are about to embark on is one that is full of many adventures and lessons that sometimes we are not prepared for. But I write this to you as a guide as you enter this new season of Motherhood and join the tribe of mothers that have gone before you throughout many generations in this family and of those of others.
As you know by now, my story was not one of stability and my mother was not 100% present in my life growing up and when she was in the picture, there seemed to be a disconnect between us and still is and the mother bond that should have been instant within and between us was non-existent. For years, I thought this would impact me being a mother, journeying through pregnancy and giving birth and loving you (my child) the way you should be loved but God has away of redeeming and renewing broken things and lines in generations and helping us to build more solid mother-child relationships even if we did not have those experiences with our own mothers.
I believe that deep down inside, there is a switch in us that turns on when we enter the journey of motherhood that instantly has us operating with a new set of skills and knowledge that we never had before. But even with this, there are a few things that are key to master and have in order to walk into motherhood with a positive and healthy mindset and in turn, carry and birth our children, raise our child or children in a way that is not overshadowed by past hurts or traumatic events.
Motherhood was not a journey I was prepared for. My mother didn't teach me or prepare me for what comes with being a mother. I don't really think i heard this spoken about even with other relatives. Some topics I guess may have been taboo but I choose to do things different with you.I want you to be prepared more than I was. I didn't know what I was walking into or what this journey would bring, but being a mom was and still is the most amazing blessing and assignment God could have blessed me with.
Sometimes, motherhood is planned and other times it just creeps upon us. But everything
under God’s earth is carefully planned and purposed. But even when plot twists arrive, God
always seems to have a pivot response to it. As long as you lean into Him for understanding
and for your needs, you will definitely have an easy-flowing journey; even when there is chaos all around you. Believe me, the only thing that was constant in my journey of motherhood was God and of course, you, which made motherhood so easy flowing for me.
Jeremiah 29:11-13, the Word reminds us that, “For I know the plans I have for you, “ says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not a disaster. To give you a future and hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.”
Even though this was written for God’s people way back in history in regards to their captivity in Babylon, it can still be used as a reminder to us and a blueprint during our life now and in all our experiences. I wanted to write you this letter and a series of letters to come, to help you navigate through the pregnancy and birthing process.
My dear, remember that throughout your life and even in this journey of motherhood, that God has a plan for you that has an expected good end and that He is there for you when you need Him. And my dear, you will need Him. The beginning stages of motherhood, pregnancy, and giving birth can be quite scary. It is a new journey and so many things are happening and changing all around you and inside of you. There is new life growing inside of you, your body is changing, emotions are high and out of whack but even with this, the Joy of carrying new life will be a reminder of the good that is coming and the beautiful human you will bring into this world. As beautiful as this process is, it is very important to remember a few things that will help you navigate those days of pregnancy and giving birth.
● Seek God in everything that you do: I know we have spoken about this all your life but
always remember what I have always taught you. Seek your Heavenly Father in all
things. God tells us not to lean on our own understanding and in my season of
motherhood, from pregnancy to raising you, this was one thing that He reminded me of
daily. Life is not going to make sense sometimes. Things may happen that cause some
shaking in your world and journey but always remember, before losing your cool, SEEK
GOD and do not lean on your own understanding. Remember, emotions are high in this
process and the protective mom switch will definitely be sending signal flares every time
you sense danger or things are out of your control. Remember before every random
thought takes over your mind and spirit, seek the Lord first. He brings a peace that
surpasses all understanding.
● Enjoy every moment: No matter what, do not let anyone or anything, cloud the joy that
you are experiencing in this season of motherhood. You want to make sure that you are
maintaining a healthy environment mentally for you and your child that is growing inside
of you. Babies can sense the outside world so keep it as pleasant as can be. Anything
that steals your peace and joy has to go. You and your baby come first.
● Breathe: Remember to just take moments to breathe.Just enjoy the good air the Lord
gave you. If the journey gets tough, Breathe. If and when situations out of your control
arises (and they will), just breathe. When you can't figure out why your little bundle of joy
inside you is kicking your rib cage in all kinds of Kung-fu ways, just breathe. Yes, it's like a gymnastics course in the belly, there will be somersaults and kicks happening all over the place so just remember to Breathe. Breathing ofvery essential for good health and well-being, but also brings a calm and relaxing effect to your being and to the baby.
● Seek Support: Do not try and do everything on your own. It is okay to ask for help if you
are overwhelmed, or even when you are not. Seek your village when you can. On one
end you will notice that many of the people in your circle tend to go MIA during this
season, but know that you have a village ready to assist you in all you need.
Remember, new season, different people. Every new assignment comes with a new
circle of support. So, find your new Circle and don't be afraid to seek help. You need
to save up most of your energy, (physical, mental,spiritual) for you and your child
during this journey.
● Do not overdo it: Once in a while, there is a burst of energy that comes upon you when
carrying your child and sometimes you may not be able to sleep. Stay active, Yes, but do
not overdo it. Overdoing activities may cause stress to your body and your child. Make
sure to hydrate, eat healthily, and follow up with your health personnel immediately, if there are any concerns.
● Prepare: Prepare as much as you can before the baby arrives. You may not have
enough time to do this once the baby arrives. I am sure your husband will be around to
help but it's best to Prepare rather than wait last minute. This will include things like
making sure you have enough clothes for the baby (they tend to get dirty or soaked
quickly lol), making sure you have a good amount of diapers and onesies, and anything
the baby will need. Take classes beforehand especially if you feel nervous about caring
for your child once he/she is born. These may include birthing classes, feeding classes,
burping classes, swaddling classes, or even how to hold the baby. Remember, the
mommy switch does turn on for most of us, but taking these classes won't hurt. I remember wishing that I took a feeding class and burping class beforehand because it was so frustrating when i couldn't get you to latch on to breastfeed/eat and then couldn't relieve your burps and gas the right way. The support system truly helped when it came to these. I can honestly say this is one of the areas I felt defeated; not being able to ease your pain or frustration. SO it helps to go through these classes for your child but ultimately, the classes are for you, especially being a first-time mom.
● Be ready for anything: I remember talking to you about this before and you said that
there is no way you would let this happen but I will just add this as a reminder. BE PREPARED FOR ANYTHING in the delivery room. Be prepared for all the medical
personnel who will be “invading” personal space in order to take care of you and your
baby. This is part of the process and nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about;
especially if you decide to have your child at a teaching hospital. When you have a
whole team of doctors and resident students who need to learn how to assist their future
patients in the birthing process, privacy kind of goes out the door. So be prepared for
anything. Be prepared for emergencies. We pray for healthy birth processes and no
complications during delivery but sometimes it is out of our control. At that moment,
remember what I wrote earlier, Seek God and Breathe. Being prepared helps reduce any
chances of you being anxious during the process because you have to stay calm for
your baby. Always remember and stand on the Word in Jeremiah 29:11- The plans God
has are for a good an expected good end. Declare and stand on that whenever you feel
anxious or when chaos arises.
There is so much I would like to add in this letter but the above summarizes what I would want you to know to help you through the pregnancy journey and giving birth. I look forward to seeing the beautiful bundles of joy that will call me grandma and journey with you on the second part of motherhood, raising your child, which is just another bonus to the mama assignment. You were created with the ability to bring forth life through the seed that God placed in you and you are prepared to nurture that seed, even if you feel like you may not be well prepared for it. So even as you embark on this journey, always remember you are graced and blessed for it. The good seed that comes from you is assigned to you through God. The strength in you to walk this process outcomes to you from God. Just seek Him, master the above, and apply it to your journey as you go. You can do this. You got this.
I love you and can’t wait to meet my future grandchildren.
Love always,
Mama
Written by Suzie Kari
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